What’s Your Story?
My friend, Bill, protected me from a Mama goose attack this afternoon. At least that’s the story that Bill, Carrie (another friend) and I settled on by the time we finished our 40 mile bike ride. We were on the final 10 mile stretch when we came upon the goose and her babies standing quietly alongside the trail. Carrie had just passed them as Bill, drafting close behind me, and I were fast approaching. That’s when the Mama goose suddenly spread her wings, rose off the ground and flew right into Bill’s chest! The impact knocked him off his bike and into the sharp gravel along the trail. Fortunately, he didn’t get hurt. He was back on his bike within seconds and for the rest of the ride we had fun creating a narrative about what had just happened.
The goose didn’t like Bill’s bike; It was Bill’s turn to get picked on; What the goose really wanted was a bite of Bill’s left-over Cliff Bar, etc. Knowing that our initial explanation of what happened would become an exaggerated tale over time with our other biking/running trail mates, we decided on our story: Bill had been protecting me. He saw the goose attack coming and quickly sped up to be a living shield and take the hit himself. Bill liked this interpretation of course, and we all agreed to stick to it.
Whether we realize it or not, we humans are always creating and telling ourselves stories. When things happen to us, we attach our stories. Our stories are like “organizing principles” that help us gather our experiences into shapes. Often, reality is replaced by story-how we interpret and make sense of what happens.
Do any of these stories sound familiar to you?
- Those successes were easy, so they don’t’ matter
- It was a complete waste of time
- God must be punishing me
- I must be a loser
- That person is trying to control me
- If that happens I won’t be able to stand it
- I should do well. If I don’t then I’m a failure
- She’s more successful than I am
- I won’t be able to stick to an exercise routine
- My parents caused all my problems
- If I don’t look out for myself no-one else will
- I don’t have anything important to offer
The stories we tell ourselves have a lot of power. They shape our way of perceiving, believing and relating. AND, they can be challenged.
When we become aware that we are telling ourselves stories, we begin to have a choice about what stories we are telling ourselves. We can consciously CHOOSE the stories we tell ourselves.
If you’re telling yourself This happened because I am stupid, ask yourself, “Is there another way of looking at this?” Can I create a different story? O well, I’m getting smarter every time I make a mistake!
What story are you telling yourself? How well is it working for you? Do you want to choose a different story?
Great post, Vicki! The stories we tell ourselves hold such great weight – whether they’re accurate or not. I like how you clarify that once we’re aware of our stories, we can choose whether to continue them – or rewrite them. That’s very liberating!