How Optimal Is Comfort For You?

How optimal is comfort for you? How willing are you to push yourself out of your comfort zone?

We all have a comfort zone: activities, places, people and routines that feel reassuring, predictable and comfortable.

Comfortable has been defined as:

• being free from stress and anxiety
• being contented and undisturbed
• being at ease
• being relaxed
• being free from affliction and pain

For many of us, being comfortable is a desired outcome. We set up our lives in order to get as much of it as possible.

Comfort zones can be very beneficial, especially in times of stress and difficulty. However, it’s possible to get “stuck” in our comfort zone in a way that limits possibilities for the kind of personal growth that can build confidence and self regard. It’s not always easy to move out of our comfort zones. Most of us hate being uncomfortable. We do whatever we can to avoid feeling uncomfortable. We often take feelings of discomfort as a sign that we are “off track”.

I am convinced, however, that being uncomfortable is not only good, it is necessary. Being uncomfortable stretches us. It helps us learn and expand. Being uncomfortable leads us to personal growth that can build confidence and self regard.

As some of you may know, I recently decided to face my life-long fear of deep water by learning how to swim in the pool and by completing my first triathlon last summer at Easter Lake in Des Moines, IA. When I think back on the open water swim portion of this triathlon, the word comfort does not come to mind! The experience was absolutely terrifying. Even so, by the time I got out of the deep water, I felt strangely satisfied. I could hardly believe that I had tolerated the discomfort and had been brave enough to “do it afraid”.

After this experience at Easter Lake I decided it was important to keep pushing myself beyond my comfort zone. So I practiced swimming in the pool over the winter and did my second triathlon this past May at Lake Aquabi in Indianola, IA. The swim portion was longer this time, and involved swimming out to the middle of Lake Aquabi and back. The very thought of this was so uncomfortable that I nearly talked myself out of going in the morning! Fortunately, I did complete this triathlon and discovered that my Aquabi Lake swim, in spite of several unexpected seasweed encounters, was slightly less terrifying than my Easter Lake swim.

Sometimes there are barriers that interfere with our desire or intention to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone:

• A negative view of ourselves
• Skepticism
• Uncertainty regarding how to begin or what direction to take
• Fear of growth (not feeling safe to grow)
• Belief that we can’t change
• Worry that it won’t work out, we’ll have a bad experience or we’ll look foolish

Moving out of our comfort zone requires us to push ourselves to do something we wouldn’t ordinarily do. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic, like a friend of mine who sat in a bathtub full of snakes because he wanted to conquer his fear of snakes! Sometimes, the simple act of trying a new activity can help us move beyond our comfort zone. Here are some ideas:

• Read a book, watch a show or see a play that you would normally not be drawn to
• Call a friend and arrange a last-minute get-together
• Say “Hi” to newcomers and other people in your neighborhood or place of work
• Change your daily routine. For example, take a new route to work
• Volunteer for an organization in your community
• Try a new restaurant or type of food that you were always afraid you might not like
• Take a cooking, art or fitness class
• Arrange to spend some time with a person outside your normal social circle
• Take music lessons on an instrument you’re curious about
• Join a community theater company or choir
• Visit a new church
• Plan a trip to an area of your city or state you’ve never been to before
• Visit a place where people speak a different language
• Go bungee jumping

Sometimes it’s hard to take that first step away from your comfort zone. If that’s the case for you, try taking a family member or a friend along, or learning as much as you can about the activity before you start. Accept that trying something unfamiliar will probably feel uncomfortable at first, and that feeling uncertain or afraid isn’t going to hurt you. Think about past times when you tried something new and found it to be exciting and actually fun. Remember, that once people push themselves to take the first step, they often find the experience interesting and experience a renewed sense of optimism.

I’m currently searching for the courage to complete yet another triathlon this season. I keep telling myself that maybe if I complete another one I’ll finally feel comfortable with swimming in deep water. That maybe I’ll even like it.

Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll simply discover that I have the courage to try new things, that I can “survive” the experience of trying something I’ve always been afraid of, or that I feel less “stuck” in my fear and abit more adventuresome.

I have my eye on the 2014 Iowa Games Triathlon, one of the few remaining triathlons my schedule allows for this summer. This swim/bike/run event is scheduled to take place south of Des Moines, IA at Easter Lake on Sunday, July 13. The registration fee is going up tomorrow, so if I register today, I’ll still get the early-bird reduced rate. Somehow though, the love of my comfort zone still outweighs my motivation to get a reduced rate. Maybe, if I just wait long enough, registration will be full and I won’t be able to get in. Then I could say, “Didn’t register in time” instead of the real honest truth ….”Couldn’t find the guts to do it again”.

Challenge: Identify one small first step you are willing to take towards pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. Decide exactly when/where/how you are going to take this first step and tell a friend about what you’ve decided. See what happens! Sometimes small steps can lead to big results!